Piggy’s Life

{August 29, 2008}   Jumping into the blogging bandwagon

Everybody has a blog these days! It’s scary yet exciting at the same time to find people you least expected to have a blog to jump on the bandwagon to express themselves online. It’s definitely easier to keep yourself updated with the ongoing of your own friends’ life but in an awkwardly funny way, it seems to cut down on the real contact you may have with your friend.

I found out today that one of my best friends started a blog a few months back. Thing is, she didn’t tell me about it. I stumbled upon it by accident, really. Maybe I’m just being sensitive about the whole thing but I actually have mix feelings about it. For one, I’m glad that she has a blog now as I hardly see her or talk to her and her blog will be a great way for me to update myself on her life. Yet, I can’t help but feel a bit hurt that she did not tell me that she has a blog. I’ve been feeling for the longest time that the both of us have grown apart so much, so much that I feel an awkward silence between the both of us when we do finally get together (the few measly time that we ACTUALLY get together).

I keep asking myself the same questions over and over again. What happen between the both of us? Have we both changed so much that there’s no strand of similarity anymore? What happen to the 20 years of friendship we had? Where is the girl I love so much like my own sister? Am I not doing enough as a friend? Do I not make an effort enough? Why am I the one who is always the first to take the initiative to make contact?

The bf has said time and again that I should cherish those who really care about me, the ones who makes an effort to be a part of my life. The rest? Keep them close but don’t put too much hope in them. Continue investing the love and time in them but it’s best to reduce the investment if there’s not much return. I hate how business-like the whole thing sounds but I guess it’s kind of true to a certain extent.

Hmm…now I wonder if this bestie of mine knows about my blog? I guess it’s very hypocritical of me to get upset with her for not letting me know about her blog when I don’t inform her myself, no? Jeez…life is complicated. I want to keep my blog out of the radar as much as possible and here I am, complaining about not being informed of a friend’s new blog.



Grace says:

Gracie, I’ve also got a close friend whom doesn’t know that I blog. Not that I don’t cherish our friendship, sometimes we are too close that I feel uncomfortable to reveal my blog to her.

Maybe I’ll reveal my blog to her in the future, maybe not. Don’t get too upset if she doesn’t. We contradict ourselves very much at times, we want to know who’s blogging but yet we want to remain anonymous.

gracieq says:

I get what you mean, Grace. I guess I was just in one of my moods that day. Also, I guess it didn’t help that I kept feeling that maintaining this particular friendship is hard and the fact that I’m always expected to make the initiative. We’ve been friends since we were 5 and she’s been there for me through thick and thin. Just felt that it’s a shame that we’ve grown so apart that we’re no longer really confiding much to one another anymore. I’m sure this feeling of disappointment and sadness will go away soon. 🙂

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