Still around

A big apology to everybody and anybody who has been visiting this blog diligently the past week. I know it seems like I’d gone MIA again. I’m still alive and around just in case anybody starts to wonder. I’ve just been really really busy these past week and I’ll continue being really busy for the next few days til I leave Perth this weekend.

I’ve already started to sort out some of my things that I wanna ship back home. Nevertheless, what I’d sorted out so far is minuscule compare to the whole lot of things I still have laying around. *gulps* I really need to get a kick start in serious packing later after this entry. As usual, due to my procrastination and mismanagement of my time, I’m left with less-than-sufficient time to get all loose ends tied up properly. Once again, I have to depend on the goodwill of my friends to sort some things out for me. *sigh* I really need to get my act together. Really got to change this bad habit of mine. It’s going to be bad for my career and work if I do not attempt to do anything to change this habit.

Anyway, I got myself super pissed drunk over the weekend as it was my last weekend in Perth before God-knows-when I’ll be back again. More updates on that later when and IF I still remember what happened then. I’ll be busy meeting up with friends and more friends the whole of this week til I leave. I hope I don’t cry at the airport!

Quote #7

God doesn’t require us to succeed; He only requires that you try - Mother Teresa

Injured again

My friends do not call me a klutz for no reasons. I’m a rather clumsy person and I’ve always been quite accident-prone, even when I try my best not to be clumsy.

It’s a nightmare being a klutz and working in the F&B line. Since December last year, I’ve lost count of the number of times I had to kept apologising to customers for accidentally spilling things on them or knocking into them, etc. It was not the customers that were on the receiving end because of my clumsiness. Sometimes, I’d accidentally inflict pain on myself. That’s where the accident-prone in me comes into the picture. I’ve gotten nicks and cuts on my hands so many times that I do not even notice the tiny scars anymore and the tiny ant bite pain that comes with the nicks and cuts are totally ignored because I’ve become somewhat immune to it. However, last night got to be the worst accident and pain I’d ever inflicted on myself so far.

Last night was super super busy at the restaurant. From the moment I walked in, before I even had a minute to stow my things away, I was practically on the floor attending to customers’ needs already. So there I was, going in the kitchen with empty plates and coming out with plates of dishes on my hands, going in the workstation with dirty teacups and teapots and coming out with freshly brewed pots of tea for customers who just sat down, when I scalded my left hand with a boiling hot teapot and tea.

I nearly dropped the whole teapot when my skin first came into contact with the intense heat but I gritted my teeth and bear with it for a few more seconds because if I do dropped the pot, it would be on a kid and that would have been a very very ugly scenario. The moment I put the pot down on the table, I quickly went back to the workstation and put my hand under cold running water. Some colleagues noticed my cringed face despite being so busy and took ice and burn cream for me so treat my hand. I do not know how long I was stuck in the workstation with my hand submerged in a bowl of ice water but I knew I felt helpless looking at my colleagues going in and out with stressed out and tired looks plastered on their faces. I decided that since I couldn’t really serve the customers then, I might as well try to wash all the dirty teacups and teapots because we were running low on clean teapots to use. That was such a bad idea.

I was wearing gloves while washing the teacups and teapots and hence, wasn’t able to tell how badly injured or scalded my left hand was. But the antoganising pain that got even more intense every few seconds was a clear indication that the injury was worse than what I thought. After keeping myself together (and holding back my tears) for the next half hour or so, I couldn’t take it anymore and stopped what I was doing. I clearly wasn’t able to continue working in that sort of pain. I went up to my boss and asked if I could leave there and then from work because I was clearly no help at all with my injured hand. I applied some burn cream and made some calls to some friends, hoping one of them could send me to the nearest pharmacy that opens up til late to get anything that could treat my hand. While I was waiting for Daniel, I could see blisters showing up on the side of my left palm up to my pinky. By the time I got to the pharmacy, one of the blisters was as large as a 20 cents coin (a little smaller than Malaysia’s 50 cents coin).

I’ve no idea how it looks like now because Daniel helped me applied some gel, gauze and protective film over it to prevent the blisters from bursting but I could feel the pain whenever I flex my hand. I’ll be changing the dressing later and I hoped it’s much better compared to last night. But for the time being, I have to be careful whenever I need to use my left hand so that I don’t burst the blisters. Even typing took a little effort because I couldn’t exactly use my pinky.

Eline

I’ve been working nearly everyday the past week, hence the lack of posting for the entire period. The feeling of tiredness mix with bodyaches all over the body is oddly familiar yet frustrating. The last time I ever felt the way I did now was when I was working in my previous work place. Although, what I felt then was a few times more than what I felt now. The workload at my current workplace is not easy but comparatively, it IS easier than the workload at my previous workplace. In fact, unless I choose to work in another high class restaurant which is patronised by the rich and famous, the workload in any other restaurant, especially a chinese restaurant will pale in comparison to my previous workplace. Anyway, I’m not going to work as much next week. In fact, I only put in my availability for 3 days next week. I needed the time to start sorting out my things here – getting rid of stuff, donating a part of it and packing the rest to be shipped home!

But enough about work talk. I’m glad I decided not to work last night because I got to go out one last time with Eline before she leaves for Germany early this morning. Eline was one of the first few people I got to know during my first few months in Perth. We met through my flatmate, Stephanie (Stef), who had arranged for an all-girls’ night one Friday night somewhere in March last year. During the introduction and the first hour or so of pre-drinking, the environment was a little awkward since both of us just met while Stef and Jess knew her for quite a while. Nevertheless, after the first few drinks, we started warming up to each other and started talking about whatever things that came into mind (we concentrated mainly on men in general ). The rest, as the saying goes, was history.

Eline’s got to be one of the few friends I have in Perth the really makes life so much more bearable. Even though she’s German, she’s one of the nicest people on earth. She’s never racist and she’s always ready to lend me a helping hand whenever I needed it. When she went back to Germany for summer, she even left her car for me to use during that 2 months! Now, how often do you find such a nice friend, especially one who willingly entrusts her car to you while she’s away? In my book, she’s the first ever to do that.

Our friendship may be quite young – only slightly over a year old – yet, we’ve had lots of good and bad times together. More good than bad in fact but nevertheless, we had the good and bad together. I’ll never forget those many heart-to-heart talks we had which took place outside my flat. Many a times, those heart-to-heart talks started after a whole night of partying and drinking. We’ll always drive to the nearest 24 hours drive-through McDs to grab some fries and burgers and head back to my flat to enjoy the greasy taste of fast food in my kitchen. We’ll start talking about anything and everything and as we sober up considerably after stuffing food into our faces endlessly, we’ll take the conversation to the courtyard of my flat where we’ll wrap ourselves with jackets and blankies to keep ourselves warm while enjoying a few cigarettes, the cold and the beautiful night. Those conversations led the both of us to open up to one another quite a lot and we often find ourselves telling each other things that we normally keep to ourselves. Mind you, we open up to one another not because we were still drunk. We were both very much sober by then. We just really felt that comfortable to be able to open up to each other.

Our friendship does not revolve around drinking and partying only. We often met up for coffee sessions and shopping sessions and we even took a few classes together during my final semester in Uni. My only regret is not spending enough time and meeting up with Eline more often the past few months. I’ve been pretty caught up in my own life and she was pretty busy with Uni work. It’s too late for regrets now. Nevertheless, I’ll always cherish the time we had together.

I have not been going out to clubs for quite a while and I was glad I went to one with Eline last night. The club was not really my scene but I still had fun for that few short hours. Plus, getting free drinks and drinks at discounted price from the cute bartenders did elevate our fun even more. LoL. At the end of the night, when Jo and I dropped Eline, Will and Nigel home, things were a little emotional. We both got a bit teary-eyed and we kept hugging each other, refusing to believe that we will only see each other again in God-knows-when. There was the usual flurry of promises about keeping in touch and writing emails to each other once in a while. Knowing the both of us, the exchange of emails will not happen often enough but I know it will still happen.

In the past, although we do not meet up often enough, knowing that we’re just living close by to each other gave the both of us feeling of comfort. Now, we’re going to be countries and oceans apart. The reality of not being to meet up and see each other whenever we want to is harsh.

*sigh*

I miss her already. *sob*

Oolong Tea

Found this story sitting in my gmail inbox today. It’s quite an inspiring story and I hope you peeps enjoy reading it as much as I did.

 A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed Oolong tea. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.

Then she ladled the Oolong out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me what you see.”

“Carrots, eggs, and Oolong tea,” she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the Oolong. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The Oolong tea was unique, however. After they were in the boiling water , they had changed the water color and taste.

“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a Oolong tea?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the Oolong tea? The tea actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the tea, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a Oolong tea?

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

Quote #6

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth. – Oscar Wilde

Quick updates

My wireless connection was down for the past 2 nights and boy was I feeling so lost! No Internet and I felt so restless! The feeling of not being able to go online and connect to the world wide web was similar to losing a limb (no offense to anybody out there!). Anyway, after thinking of every possible reason and way to fix our loss-of-Internet-connection problem, my housemate and I finally gave up and decided to call the customer service of our service provider to get us connected again. The guy just asked my housemate for her details, gave her a new password, and voila, we’re connected again! Damn! If we knew it was THAT easy, we wouldn’t have waste the time and energy raking our brains trying to figure out what’s wrong.

Being MIA for 2 days aside, I finally have news/results about my heart murmur scare. Finally, after more than a month’s wait! Every thing is perfectly normal with my heart. There’s no valve problems or anything wrong with the way my heart functions. I’m trying to get a copy of the reports so that I can bring it back to Malaysia with me, just in case Mum wants me to go for a full medical check up to reconfirm everything. Now, I’m going to bug the immigration department when I’m not working to find out more information about my so-called pending visitor’s visa. Frankly, it doesn’t really matter to me now whether it’s going to be approved or rejected because I’ve already confirmed the date that I’ll be flying back to Penang. But after spending so much money on the damn visa and medical, I’d still like to know the results.

Speaking about going back to Penang, I’ll be reaching Penang soil at 0930 on 30th June 2007 if there’s no flights delay. Anybody who misses me so much they wanna pick me up that early from the airport? Anyway, I was actually planning to go back on the 27th/28th but Mum said there’ll be nobody to pick me up cause everybody will be too busy with their own thing to take some time off to come get me. Talk bout pathetic! Poor me! First, all of them wants me home early. After I had chosen the date, nobody can make the time for me. They said they miss me to bits, but I guess it’s just all talk!

*sobs*

I’m just being dramatic! LoL. But seriously, I’m really reaching Penang at 0930 on 30th June 2007, which is a Saturday. Winnee, care to wake up super early to greet me at the airport? After all, you’re the only one who truly misses me that much!! *wink wink* That aside, I’m once again having mix feelings about leaving Perth and going back to Malaysia. Then again, I do not have much time or energy to dwell on it for the time being. I have so much to do! This is what happen when I procrastinate too much and leave everything to the last minute! As usual, Mum gave me her usual I-told-you-so speech with the obligatory (more like complimentary to me ) nagging and reprimanding on my procrastinating behaviour when I called her last night. We had the routine argument when $$ talk was involved with me ending up in tears for once. I do not want to go into details about our small argument but let’s just say that the issue was settled there and then.

I was on the phone with Mum for over an hour. Other than nagging and arguing and discussing about important matters (pertaining to me going back to Malaysia), Mum had managed to squeeze in a few updates and gossip about the family, especially on the most important event this year – Uncle Edwin’s wedding on 7th July 2007. From the things I’ve heard so far, I’m glad that I’ll only be going back at the end of the month instead of earlier. The later I get back, the less conflict I’ll be caught in. You can be sure that I’ll be receiving lots of orders and instructions from various family members since I’m the only adult grandchild and only niece in the family. I know I’ll definitely be super busy helping out with the wedding and I can predict that I’ll be hearing A LOT of G-O-S-S-I-P-S and stories about so-and-so or who-and-who, especially from really super busybody relatives who only knows how to use their tongues. Blech! I even dare to bet that I’ll be the main character in some of those stories.

*cue to roll eyes*

Anyway, all those drama will be dealt with accordingly when I’m back in Penang and have to face the family. I should be more worried about tying all the loose ends here in Perth right now. *smacks head* This is really my punishment for being such a BIG procrastinator! Wish me luck everyone!

Footprints

I just want to share a story that I’ve always loved since the moment I discovered Christ in my life. I usually turn to this story whenever I’m down to remind myself that whatever happens, I was not abandoned and will never be alone. I hope the story Footprints might be able to encourage some of you readers out there (no matter how small in number you are) that you’re not alone in this world. There’s always God, no matter what religion or believe.

Footprints

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with God. Across the sky he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonged to him and the other to God. 

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happens at the lowest and saddest times of his life. 

This really bothered him and he questioned God about it. “God, You said that once I decided to follow You, You’d walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times of my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”

God replied, ” My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”

Empathising and being a good listener

I was once told by my Christian Fellowship (CF) teacher that God gave me the gift of empathy and being a good listener. I was only 16 then and I was such a strong Christian albeit having to hide that fact from my family. Anyway, I was kind of disappointed to have these so-called gifts because to me, it just seems hard to truly serve God with only empathy and being able to really listen to people (especially when I was so on fire for God then). I found these gifts useless because I hoped for something more important, like the gift of worshipping God in a beautiful way or maybe being a genius in Bible study where I can spew forth any quote from the Bible without a moment’s hesitation. Alas, that’s not the case. I was stuck with being a good listener and being able to empathise easily.

My walk with God had since faltered and though I’m now His prodigal daughter, the gifts that He had bestowed on me stayed on. During a good day, I’d see it as a gift or a talent. On a bad day? I see it as a curse or a punishment for turning my back against Him.

The past week or two had seen me putting these talents/gifts to use for the better of others, for the worse of mine. Why better for others? Because they have a place (me) to pour their heart out, to rant and rave about the injustices that happen to them but most importantly, they know that they would not be judged by their actions or words. It’s worse for me because I’ll be absorbing and absorbing everybody’s complains and rants but I have nowhere to let them out. With nowhere to turn to, everybody else’s complains and rants will eventually led me to feel down and depressed. I admit, I could turn to God and pray on behalf of these poor souls (that’s what my CF teacher told me back in high school). However, being the ever stubborn person that I am, I refused to do that. Not because I do not believe in God anymore, instead, I have some personal issues that I need to get over with before I could ever have the courage to face God again. Thus, the depression and sufferings that I’d inflicted on myself.

It’s not all bad, being able to empathise and be a good listener. It feels good to know that someone trusts you enough to want to pour their heart out to you. It also feels good knowing that you’re able to help them feel better just by listening to them intently and offering them a shoulder to cry on. In a way, it feels good to know that you’re needed or belong somewhere, even if it’s for that few short hours. Nevertheless, the best point about having these so-called talent is the satisfaction that I feel whenever I’m able to help someone or make someone feel better after talking to me.

Before I decided to major in Public Relations, friends and some family members alike had actually encouraged me to take up psychology and trained to be a certified psychiatrist. There was a short period of time where I actually contemplated that idea. At the end of the day, I’m glad I didn’t go ahead with the plan of majoring in psychology. Don’t get me wrong, I think I’d really enjoy studying psychology because I have always been interested in the way the human mind works and til this day, I’m still constantly fascinated by the logic and theories behind it all. However, with the state that I’m in, I’ll easily get depressed with other people’s problems and I might end up seeking a psychiatrist instead of people seeking my professional help.

Being able to empathise and being a good listener – are they a curse or are they gifts? Whatever it is, I’ll just continue being who I am because if I’m able to help someone feel better just by listening to them, then there’s really no point in trying to stop myself from being me.

Note: I’ve been writing this post on and off for the past week. Every time I sat down in front of my notebook to write, something will arise and take me away from continue writing it. The end result of this post is a mixture of my thoughts for a whole week. Hope I make sense with the above post.