Leaving Perth

Suddenly, the reality of leaving Perth just hit me. Within a few short moments, I was reduced to tears and I felt a hollow ache in my heart.

I was tossing and turning trying to sleep straight (what with my backache) when my thoughts started to wander all over the place. It was during this moment of wandering when I realised the dates and the day I’ll be leaving Perth for good. I’ve been telling everybody that I’ll be going back to Malaysia at the end of June. In fact, I’ve been telling myself that too for the longest time ever. I just never realised the approaching dates til moments ago. I can’t believe that I’ll be leaving this place where I’ve been spending nearly the last 1 1/2 years of my life for good.

I’m going to miss so many things here. I’ll miss the life here, I’ll miss the weather, I’ll miss the place and most importantly, I’ll miss a lot of people I have to leave behind here. People that has made my life more comfortable, more bearable. People who has given me some really good memories. People that I will cherish and never forget for the rest of my life.

It’s really the thought of leaving everything and everybody behind that has reduced me to tears right now. All of a sudden, I’m not really looking forward to going back to Malaysia. All of a sudden, I’m afraid of what the future might hold for me back home. I’m afraid that I’m going to have lots of problems adjusting life to the Malaysian way. In fact, I don’t want to adjust life to the Malaysian way. I’m happy with my life now, here in Perth.

Yet, life goes on. I have to be an adult in this matter. I’m turning 24 in a few months time and the numbers 2 and 4 signifies an adult, not a child. It’s time to go back and be responsible. I’m just going to cry my eyes out now so that I don’t end up crying in the airport before I leave in a month’s time. :’(

Quote #5

We never understand how little we need in this world until we know the loss of it. - James M. Barrie

My poor, poor back!

As I’m writing this post, I have no choice but to sit upright instead of slouching over the notebook as usual. In fact, I’ve been walking with my back ramrod straight and sitting upright for the entire day. I’m doing all this not because I’m practicing some posture exercise but because I’ve hurt my back.

I’ve recently started working as a casual in a nearby chinese restaurant just opposite my house. The pay is considerably much lower compared to what I’ve been earning in the last restaurant I’ve worked at. However, considering the situation I’m in right now, well, beggars just cannot be choosers, so I’ve to grit my teeth and bear with what I could get now. Frankly, work at the chinese restaurant is much easier compared to the work in the previous restaurant. It’s not as stressful and mind numbing. Yet, there are times when the boss can be quite a slave driver. Imagine him asking us girls instead of guys to do the hard labour such as carrying heavy things and cleaning up the storeroom. Other than the occassional hard labour that we have to endure, work is frankly quite easy for me.

So, 2-3 nights ago, I was one of the few unlucky ones who were specially chosen to participate in one of those hard labour moments. There was much clearing and heavy lifting to do for nearly an hour or more. I don’t understand the boss. Why ask girls to do the hard labour instead of the boys? Anyways, I think that that hard labour moment was what triggered off the muscle spasms in my lower back. It must have gotten worse yesterday because of work and also probably because of the way I slept. I was suppose to be working tonight but I can’t even walk fast, much less bend over! Friends were advising me to take tomorrow off too so that my back will be well rested. I’ve yet to decide on that. I’ll probably decide tomorrow depending on how well or unwell my back is.

Til tomorrow comes, I pity my poor, poor back!

Hiccups

No, I don’t mean the normal hiccups you occassional get. It’s the blog itself. Since I can’t sleep and I don’t feel like watching animes or reading my book, I’d decided to play around with some settings in the blog and added some new things into it. Being the total blurcase that I am as usual, things didn’t turn out the way I wanted them to be. So peeps, just bear with whatever that’s in the blog for the time being til I get it fixed to my liking. Don’t worry, it will not have any effects on the posts that I churn out once every blue moon.

A short reminiscence

It’s that time of the month again. No, my menses are not here yet but the occassional mood swings that occur before it decides to come for its monthly visits are here to stay for the next couple of days. In fact, I’d been having mood swings for the past few days or so.Having mood swings are one of the worst feelings ever to befall a woman. I know, men out there will definitely argue that women in general are always prone to mood swings with no logical explanation whatsoever due to our hormones. Pfft! Hormones! That’s the only thing men could think of when they have no idea how to deal with us! =.=

Anyway, with my being unable to control my mood swings, I’d subjected myself to watching endless episodes of animes – some directly streamed from the Internet, some copied from friends. The thing I hate most about watching animes online is how absorbed I get with a particular anime only to find out later that I can’t continue watching it directly from the Net cause nobody has uploaded it yet! It sounds very demanding and absolutely ridiculous coming from a freeloader like myself but I just can’t help it! Try putting yourself in my shoes; you’ve been watching episode after episode after episode of an anime for a few hours straight knowing that you’re going to find out the conclusion of the anime when (drum rolls please) you find out that the last few episodes of it are not available online for some unknown reason! So what does a girl have to do? I can’t just abandon it just like that. I’m a series fanatic (even if it’s just anime). I need to know the conclusion of it! Thus, I start searching for sites where I get to download them for free, just to fulfil the fanatic part of me.

While I was waiting for the downloads to complete, I realised that I haven’t done any housekeeping on my notebook for quite a while. That explains the long awaiting time whenever I get it started. There I was, going patiently from harddisk space to folders to files, when I chance upon some long forgotten notes/emails that I’d saved in notepad form. It was some emails that I’d saved when K had first written to me and the reply I’d written back to her. For those of you in the dark, K was one of the last few girls the ex had cheated with on me before I ended the nightmare of a relationship with him. To feed those full of curiousity, feel free to read some posts I’d written in my old blog here, here and here.

Alright, I know I’ve been diverting way, WAY out of what I initially have in mind. It’s all leading to the topic of this post: what was the short reminiscence about? Reading those emails, both from K to me and vice versa, had reignite some memories in me. Memories that I’d long forgotten. Memories that were buried somewhere deep within my mind because there were bad memories. There’s a saying, “Remember the good, forget the bad”. I guess I’d subconsicously did that as I continue my life going with the flow that surrounds me. Yet, those bad memories, they were the ones who made me who I am today in the aspects of relationship. Frankly, I’d dated a really sweet man, a man which is the extreme opposite of the ex for a year. However, things ended because it was not only a long distance relationship, I guess I was also holding back a part of me for the fear of hurt again. I admit that perhaps, I may not have invested myself 100% emotionally into this sweet man and I regret and am feeling quite guilty because he had done so many things to try to make me happy – giving me surprises despite the distance, sending me flowers, etc.

I was such a trusting person in the past. I was so naive in so many ways. I’d readily give up anything just to make the ex happy. My world practically revolves around him in the past. Compare the old me with the present me now. I no longer trust a man that easily anymore. I’m no longer that naive (still am naive in certain things though ). I’ve become more selfish these days; I try to put my happiness first before making another person happy (in terms of relationship). In short, I’ve more or less become a cynic in terms of a relationship. Sometimes I just wonder if things will be so much better for me if I were still completely ignorant about the ex’s affairs behind my back. I wouldn’t be as cynical as I am now. I used to have so much faith and hope in love. Now, I question the reasons a man would want to love or fall in love with me. Going through the hurt, the painful lesson of the past was a way of growing up, of becoming more mature person and possibly, being more useful to the world. Yet, I sometimes yearned for those blissfully ignorant days of the past. The days where I don’t end up having sleepless nights and headaches worrying about 1001 what-ifs. The days where everything is really just that simple as it is. The days where I still believe in true love, in happily ever afters, in Prince Charming. The days where I’m not a cynic.

*sigh*

I miss those days. I truly do. Yet, life goes on and we have to continue moving forward no? Nobody’s ever moved backwards (except for a few certain gorillas as aptly described by Fishtail). So here I am, a simple pig, albeit being quite a cynical pig at times, going through the motions of life as God wants me to. Or so I hope that’s what He wants and had in mind for me. There I go again, being a cynic. Or a pessismist. Or however you want to see me as. Well, I better stop here before I come up with further contracdictions.

*palms to forehead*

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When I was 18…

Got tagged by Criz to write about the popular songs that I listened to when I was 18. My goodness…18?! Are you serious?! I have such bad memory that I can’t even remember what happened last week, much less songs I listened to years ago! Nevertheless, when someone tags me, I must give them face a bit cause it shows that I’m remembered.

So, let’s start with The Rules first.

1. Go to www.popculturemadness.com
2. Select the year you turn 18 (you can see the list on the left side of the page or just type in the year you were 18 in the google search bar)
3. Get nostalgic over the songs of the year
4. Write about it
5. Pass the tag to 5 other people

Let me state that I was quite outdated in the world of music when I was 18. Moving to KL by myself to continue my studies and staying with a bunch of strangers had stripped me off many luxuries that I used to take for granted – radio was one of it and it was my lifeline when I was tolling away in the wee hours studying for SPM. So you can imagine how dead I was. It also didn’t help that I didn’t care much for what was going on in the real world then cause I was too caught up being in love with the man who meant the world to me (of course HE no longer meant the world to me now cause we’d broken up ages ago). Anyway, to prevent myself from diverting further from the topic, the results are as below (note: the list is quite short).

1. Lady Marmalade – Christina Aguilera, Pink, Lil Kim and Mya (kinda reminds me of girl power, even if the song doesn’t suggest that)
2. Get the Party Started – Pink (was at the age where I wanted to go party/clubbing once in a while but HE forbids me from going so have to make do by blasting it at home and imagine the night scene)
3. U Remind Me – Usher
4. It’s My Life – Bon Jovi (the title says it all no?)
5. Hero – Enrique Iglesias (touching song)
6. Angel – Shaggy
7. Independent Woman Part 1 – Destiny’s Child (girl power!)
8. Whenever, Wherever – Shakira
9. Fallin’ – Alicia Keys
10. The Call – BSB (this song didn’t mean much to me til we’d broken up, which was 5 years down the road, cause it quite fits our situation – HE cheated on me!)
11. Survivor – Destiny’s Child (yet again, it didn’t mean much to me til we’d broke up cause I survived the whole nasty ordeal)
12. In the End – Linkin Park (I was a BIG Linkin Park fan)

Told you people that the list is short. On a personal side note though, I’m NO longer BITTER about the whole I’ve-been-cheated-on ordeal. I’ve let go of all the reasons HE gave for cheating on me but I’ve just not forgotten how heartbroken I was and how it felt to think that life’s unfair and men are bad news. LoL. I’ve since changed my mind about the last part although majority of the men I know are still bad news.

Argh! No more diversion! The people I tag are…

• Jo Jie (finally, I’m the one who tags you, not vice versa! )
• Grace
• Mei (I know you’re busy with Nil and the wedding but I’ll like to know your favs then)
• Er…er…no idea who else to tag! Anybody else who feels like doing it la

Alexa Redirect Link Train

Ok, I’m still pretty much confused over this Alexa Link Train thingy. Even after googling it and reading the ‘how tos’, I’m still a bit confused. Yeah, I know, I’m dumb. :@ But hey, I’ve never really been interested in web and tech stuffs so please, give me a some credit for trying now k? Now, back to the main topic.

Alexa Redirect Link Train

The main purpose of the Alexa Redirect Link Train is to boost the Alexa and Technorati ratings for blogs that were linked. Other than that, the Link Train will also indirectly help blogs that were linked obtain better traffics and exposure in the world wide web.

How to use the Train

First, give a brief introduction about the Alexa Redirect Link Train. Then, copy the link list below into your blog. Choose 3 or more bloggers of your choice and add their links below the list. Voila, you’ve got the train continuously moving! (p/s: If you’re confused or blur like me, click here for more information. Hope you don’t mind Criz!)

The List

• Alexa Redirect for kuanhoong dot com
• Alexa Redirect for My Sites Advisor
• Alexa Redirect for Life Rocks! 2.0
• Alexa Redirect for Vince Cordic’s Internet Marketing Tactics
• Alexa Redirect for Criz’s Sanctuary
• Alexa Redirect for Webtools
• Alexa Redirect for 5xmom
• Alexa Redirect for AhPek dot com
• Alexa Redirect for Cedric’s Asylum
• Alexa Redirect for PapaJoneh dot com
• Alexa Redirect for HLCO
• Alexa Redirect for Piggy’s Life

New passengers to the train:

• Alexa Redirect for Vee Vee Waa Waa
• Alexa Redirect for Run, Bunny, Run!
• Alexa Redirect for Mei@Gentle Ethereal Musings

NOTE:

Using my own blog as an example, the Alexa Redirect hyperlink should appear as: http://redirect.alexa.com/redirect?http://piggyslife.wordpress.com

What are you looking for in a relationship?

You’re looking for a Best Friend

What Are You Looking for in a Relationship?

 

Brought to you by Tickle

 

There are many different ways to look at relationships, but for you, finding a best friend, the one person you share everything with, is the most important. Some people focus more on the romantic image of a soul mate to last the span of time, but you probably prefer the reality of making the most of every moment of every day. And who better to live those moments with than someone who’s true blue through and through?

The ideal match for you is probably someone who can anticipate the next word out of your mouth and who laughs at the punch line before you even tell it. Chances are it’s important to you that they’d expand your circle of friends, introduce you to new places, faces, and experiences, too. Whether this relationship is here for the short- or the long- term, you’re a take-it-as-it-comes kind of person, with few expectations or fairytales to live up to. You’d take your constant companion and trusted secret-keeper over a fairy princess or Prince Charming, any day. Whether you realize it or not, there’s someone out there who feels the same way about you. Like you, that someone is looking for the one person to be their best friend – both in the bedroom and out.

Quote #4

Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives. – C. S. Lewis