…I was pissed!
Yep, it's been quite a while since I last had to control my temper to the max instead of exploding in a fit of anger. Slept quite late last night and woke up somewhere in the afternoon today. Proceeded to wash up and was going to get my daily dose of caffeine when a group member, A, for one of my units knocked on my window. I asked her to come in through the front door and that was when she told me that we had to have an emergency group meeting because of our report. So there I was, sitting in A's flat with another group member, P, going through the list of sub-titles for our report when my temper start to flare a little.
Before the meeting started, I was a little annoyed with both P and A. When we had our group meeting last week, both of them told me that they had read our lecturer's message in WebCT (an e-discussion room) on how to do our group work which includes a full detailed report and a presentation. I admitted to them that I didn't have the time to sit down and read through the message thoroughly and asked them to quickly brief me and J (another group member) about it. P was acting all high and mighty when I said I didn't read the message and I could feel myself getting annoyed then, but I managed to control myself and let her high and mightiness slip by. So imagine how annoyed I was when they both told me during the meeting today that they just realise from the message that there are actually 20 parts to the report and that we had only cover less than 10 during our meetings. The first thing that came to my mind was, "wtf?!". And they actually had the nerve to tell me last week that they've read the message thoroughly.
*palms to head*
And so, there we were, sitting in A's flat, discussing on parts that we do not understand and dividing the job between us. I actually had the most difficult and longest part of the report to write and thus, was not so enthusiastic to write on other longer parts except for the short ones. Now, I never have any problems getting my part done if everyone in the group has a fair amount of work to do too. However, P, who volunteered to compile the report, only had one small part to write, which was the introduction and I felt that it wasn't very fair. Hence, when she said she had an article somewhere at home that could support one of the sub-parts of the report, I suggested that she write that part immediately. I could sense that she wasn't too happy about it but I was prepared to argue with her to get her to do it should she protest. Thank God she did not protest or I would have strangle the bloody midget things would turn out to be rather ugly.
As we continued on with the meeting, there was another small sub-part that I suggested P to write. The bloody midget P, didn't want to do it and gave me the most ridiculous reason that I've ever heard.
I don't want to. I'm compiling our report you know. That's gonna take a lot of time cause I need to edit where possible. I cannot afford to spend so much time on writing other parts of the report.
Imagine her saying all that in a fake Australian/American accent (bear in mind that she's an Asian, from Malaysia, well…from Ipoh to be exact) in her ridiculously high-pitched voice. Ohhhh…it got on my nerves so bad it's a miracle that my nerves did not burst at all. And I was pissed off there and then after she made that remark. I was really, really pissed off. I was very, very close to blowing my top off. For goodness sake, just because she's compiling our report doesn't give her the God given right not to do any other part of the report. Just because she's writing a bit of background information for our presentation doesn't mean she does not need to write any other parts of the report. If I did not suggest for her to write another sub-part of the report (which is relatively quite short), she will only be writing the introduction and a little background information of the organisation!
And before this, she did not even want to take part in the presentation, claiming herself to be a bad speaker. Erm…hallo?! None of us in the group are good speakers too but we had no choice because it's part of the group project! J somehow managed to get her to do it and in the end, she's only going to present on the introduction part of our presentation and thus, had to speak for a very short while with very few words. As for yours truly, I ended up being the last speaker with considerably, the most things to say at the end. Now, tell me, how fair is this?!
…I am Aunt Agony for a few hours.
When I first check into SV, I knew no one except for my coursemates from the old college. I was very much delighted when I finally got to know a few new friends who are also staying around in SV. I was even more delighted to find out that one of them is staying in the flat next to mine. This new friend of mine, S, is a sweet 18 year-old girl who is quite naive and innocent in certain ways. She possesses certain characteristics that reminded me so much of myself when I was her age (note: I am not that old! I'm still in my early 20s!).
S called me today, crying over the phone, asking me if I'm free cause she needs somebody to talk to. When somebody calls you on the phone and you hear them crying, how can you say no without sounding like a cold hearted bitch right? I may be busy (had to attend a meeting and write my part of the report remember?) but I could never say no to a friend in need. In a matter of minutes, she's in my room, pouring her heart out while I offer her tissues to stop her tears. "What's her problem?", you may ask. What's new? If it's not friendship and family problems, it's usually boy problems aint it?
There I was, listening to her story, reading emails that she showed me, all the while trying my best to comfort her. I understood how she felt because I've been through the same before. I knew what she was thinking then. "Why do I have to go through bad relationships? Why am I wasting my love on someone who doesn't really love me?" Oh yeah…been there, done that. At the end of the conversation, I made a statement to her not only for her sake, but also to remind myself again, why bad things happen in life.
God sometimes allow bad things to happen to us for a purpose. He does not delight in seeing us suffer but sometimes, to help us grow and mature and become better people, He had no choice but to let us feel sadness, hurt, pain, etc. There are times where it is up to us to see the positive light out of something negative. Sometimes, we have to go through the bad so that we would appreciate the good and not take the good for granted.
The old me used to blame God and pick a fight with Him whenever the bad happen. But throughout the years, I've gradually grow and matured as a person and came to realise that bad things happen for a reason. We may never find out why cause only God has the answer, but the most important thing to do is have faith in Him and believe that He will deliver us through the bad and bring us to the good. In fact, if the bad did not happen (with the ex), I wouldn't have found the good (YK).
Anyway, for S's sake, I just hope that she'll gradually get over the hurt that she's feeling now instead of constantly wallowing in that deep rut of hurt. She's still young after all and should be enjoying life. And I will pray for her to find something good at the end of the tunnel after going through a few bumpy rides in her journey of life.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Well, that's all for my ranting and sharing for the day. I really have to go back to writing the bloody group report now. Argh!
