How the heart aches

Isn't it a wonder how the heart can feel emotional pain? There is it, laying in your body, a perfectly healthy heart pumping away as it should be with no disease or complication. Yet, whenever someone (especially a loved one) said things that hurt, or tried to hurt you emotionally, your heart actually constricts and felt some sort of a physical pain. Some develops to shortness of breath, some just felt the physical pain for a long, long time. Isn't it weird, how the biggest muscle in our body works?

This writer had actually felt this sort of pain many, many times throughout her life. She felt it even more so the last couple of years…when she started dating, when she fell in love. Each time the heart aches, this writer just wished that somebody would rip it out of her so that she would not feel the pain it caused. Nevertheless, despite feeling the ache so many times throughout the years, the heart still continues beating on, hoping with each passing second that whatever it feels next will only be filled with happiness instead of hurt.

This writer's heart was hurting a lot for the past week or so. It hurts because of unresolved issues that soon wedged themselves hard in the corner, refusing to leave despite the writer's desperate attempts to let bygones be bygones. The writer's heart knows that everybody makes mistakes, that no human is perfect, yet, when a love one made mistakes, the writer's heart does not forgive easily. 

A week had passed. The writer's heart had slowly healed. It was down, but it had slowly climbed up again. It's no longer down in the dumps. This writer had a talked with her heart and it had agreed to let the past stay as that while they continue on their journey together, looking at the present and towards the future. There are more important things going on now, more important things to concentrate on. This writer hopes that nothing will happen in the next two weeks that will affect her heart. 

Keeping in touch with the ex?

Should I or should I not? After all that he had put me through, is it still worth it to stay friends? Or is it better to avoid him whenever possible? My conscious mind is telling me to forego even having any contact with him, especially more when it comes to staying friends. But there are times when I’m still curious to know what is going on in his life now. Is that normal? I don’t wanna stay friends with him. I just wanna know how is he faring with his life so far without me. And as many would say, curiousity kills the cat.

According to Steph, my subconscious mind still have some sort of feelings for the ex. I recoiled immediately when she suggested that. However, later on, I started questioning myself, “do I?” The question had been running around my mind for a whole day and I’m happy to say that I do not have any sort of feelings left for the ex. But I still wonder if it’s ever possible for us to stay friends?

I’ve looked at friends and the way they behave with their ex-es. Some are quite successful in remaining friends with their ex. Some are not that successful. Some still argue as if they’re still in a relationship. Some still feel bitterness towards each other. Some still couldn’t let bygones be bygones. I guess it’s up to the individual at the end of the day, whether to stay friends with their ex-es or not. But is it a good idea?

It’s finally Autumn!

Yup..autumn’s finally here. The nights are sometimes cold but bearable and the day, though high in temperature, does not feel as hot as during the summer. Life is so routinised these days. Well, at least Mei Ling’s having a better time here than me in terms of outings. After all, she had managed to found a new group of friends to hang out with. There were a couple of times when she asked me out along with her. Unfortunately, each time I had to decline cause I was just too dead tired or brain fucked to make an effort to go out. Yeah…it’s my own fault for not taking the opportunity to go out and hang out with new people. But how do you make an effort when you just aren’t motivated to do anything?

I’m not complaining or anything. Just feeling a little blue at the moment (as usual!).  I’m hoping for a more productive week next week, considering that it’s the holidays. And I can’t wait to check out the clubbing scene this Saturday in the city. Oh well, I’ve been far too lazy to blog for quite a while. There are just way too many thoughts running around in my head and it’s kinda difficult to organised them in a manageable way enough to put them on the net. So please, just keep on checking this page til I produce something readable for all.

A better week

I can’t believe I’m into my third week here in Perth now. The past week had been much easier on me. There’s still the occasional boredom that envelops me once in a while, but other than those short moments of boredom, I’ve sort of pick up a pace of life of my own here. Getting into the groove of studies had been the main reason for chasing boredom out.

I found myself to be quite the potato couch these days, due to the fact that I have to watch the tellie for Television and Popular Culture (TVPC) and Documentary classes. Sometimes, instead of purely enjoying a tellie show as it should be enjoyed, I find myself thinking bout a whole lot of stuff about the show. Sigh…that’s what most of us mass comm or media students do. Analysing everything, including tellie shows, as some form of text. Not that I’m complaining or anything, I’ve always been fond of cultural base units. It’s the Documentary classes that I sometimes do not grasp 100%. I guess it’s more studying and research for me this semester in order to get a good grade.

I’ve been out shopping last week with Mei Ling and my flatmate, Stephanie. There’s this clothes store, Supre, where its clothes are on sales and man, a lot of the stuff there are cheap! A tube top for $3, a pair of hipster shorts for $10, a sleeveless blouse for $5, etc. I bought a few pieces of clothing which even after conversion, is considered cheap back home. Mei Ling went on a shopping spree and practically bought a mountainful of clothes back. Haha…Obviously, neither of us told our Mums that we went shopping. We do not want to get nag and screamed at bout our shopping rendezvous do we? And we’re planning to go back to Supre soon (tomorrow actually) to hunt for more bargains.

It’s not so lonely and bored staying in the flat anymore. Where at the beginning, each and everyone of us in the flat kept mainly to ourselves, the last week or so had seen us gradually opening up to each other. Amanda, my American flatmate, is not home most of the time. She’s always out with her other American friends, which is a pity cause I would have like to get to know her better. On the other hand, Steph (she’s Singaporean) and I had been getting to know each other much, much better. We’ve been talking and sharing stories about people and our own lives practically every night lately. It’s just too bad that this is her last semester and she’ll be going back to Singapore for good in June/July. And though we’re not that close with each other yet, she did take good care of me when we went to the Tavern in Uni last Thursday. She introduced her friends to Mei Ling and I and made sure that we have fun there instead of feeling left out.

Speaking of the Tavern, I have a feeling that both Mei Ling and I are going to be regulars there every Thursday night. It’s the only place for us to chill out and de-stress at night after a full load of classes for the week. Especially more so for me since I have a full day every Wednesday. Whether we’re going to be regulars or not is something to be confirmed later on in the semester. One thing for sure though, majority of the guys who frequent the Tavern are desperados and players and we’ll both be avoiding them like the plague. I’ve already had a taste of these guys when one of them try to hit on me last week. When he asked for my number, I just told him straight that I have a bf. Wow, you guys should have seen the way he quickly ran off and hit on another girl in less than a second! It should be recorded down in the Guiness Book of Records…haha…

Besides all these trivial stuff going on, life has been pretty much alrite for the time being. I’m no longer complaining bout the boredom here. In fact, I’m no longer whining about a lot of stuff here. One thing which I would continue to whine about is the weather though. It’s been a hot, hot week. Hopefully, the temperature will drop to a comfortable, cooling degree next week. After all, autumn is coming soon. Yay!

A simple poem

I’m not the author of the poem. I’ve never been able to write good poems, the words just do not flow that naturally to me. The poem that I’m going to share is written by YK. Simple it may be, but it’s the sincerity of his heart when writing this poem that touches my heart and soul.

Baby,
My heart belongs to you
Each and every step I take
Always brings me back to you

My love for you
Grows deep and strong
Into my very soul
Without your love
I never can be whole

Please take this love I offer
I promise you it is true
I want to spend each and every day
Always and forever loving you

Truth be told, it’s the first time ever somebody compose a poem for me.

Protected: I don’t know anything!

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password: