Gong Xi Fatt Chai!

Gosh…time sure passes by rather quickly. At the blink of an eye and it’s Chinese New Year now. Another approximately 3 weeks more and I’m off to Perth. Very, very excited about the whole prospect but yet, at the same time, very, very nervous about going over. The fear of whether I’ll be able to handle a new culture in a foreign place while coping with my studies is always at the back of my mind.

Well, whatever the future may hold, I’ll just have to face them bravely with confidence. For the time being, it’s better for me to enjoy this Chinese New Year because I doubt I’ll be back in time for next year’s Chinese New Year!

Here’s wishing everybody a prosperous year ahead and Gong Xi Fatt Chai!!

*runs off to enjoy CNY goodies*

What’s your true colour?

Took this test from a link that my friend sent via email. Feel free to try it out. In the meantime, here’s my results!

Brown

You’re brown, a credible, stable color that’s reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you’re a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you’re probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you’re constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it’s by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.

 

 

Meme of Four

I had actually posted this in the old blog. But I doubt a lot of people visit the old blog anymore. Hence, here I am, doing another round of meme. Was tagged by Mei and am doing it out of boredom. Yes, I’m so bored that I’m doing it a second time round here!

4 jobs you’ve had in your life
Kindergarten teacher (hard to believe!)
Temp
Admin Assistant
Student (does it count?)

4 movies you could watch over and over
The Princess Diaries
A Walk to Remember
The Chronicles of Narnia
Infernal Affairs

4 TV shows you love(d) to watch
Desperate Housewives
CSI
Gilmore Girls
Mind Your Language (old, old comedy series)

4 places you’ve lived
Bukit Mertajam, Penang
Wangsa Maju, KL
Puchong, KL
Kota Damansara, Selangor

4 places you’ve been on vacation to
Singapore
Pulau Pangkor, Malaysia
Haadyai, Thailand
Australia (in the future, I’ll be travelling around Ozzy during my sem break)

4 places you would rather be
In the cinema
Any shopping mall
Having my favourite Caramel Macchiato in Starbucks while reading a book
A beautiful, clean beach with a beautiful sunset

4 of your favourite foods
Sushi
Paan Mein
Pizza
Dim Sum

4 websites you visit daily
Google
The Star Online
Murdoch University (for updates on my departure)
Blogs (does it count?)

4 tagged
Chip
Carven
Sze Zeng
Winnee

Pent up frustrations

After spending nearly 2 weeks down in KL, I’m finally back home again. But it’s not fun and joy that I came home to. It was a sense of dread that welcome me home – again. I know I should have come home earlier to avoid Mum’s accusation of me being the prodigal daughter but time and again, the prospect of coming home to Mum’s continuous dreaded nagging and moodswings just puts the idea off of going home early. And so, I postpone the date to come home to as late as possible and finally today, I’m back home again.

I know Mum’s pretty pissed off with me for spending nearly 2 weeks down in KL. I admit I was being slightly selfish staying that long in KL but it’s all worth it to me because of the amount of time I got to spend with YK. And I seriously do not want to think of pleasing Mum anymore. Time and again, things that I’ve done throughout the years is to please her. My studies, my life, even some of the relationships I had -  it all revolves around her. There are so many instances where I could have just lost my temper on relatives who were being obnoxious but yet, each time, I’ll stop myself in time because I was thinking of “saving her face”. I do not want people to accuse her of not being able to educate her daughter properly. All my life, nearly every single thing that I’d done in my life is a tribute to her. Well, except for my teenage years where I was being rebellious.

Now that I’m finally happy again after being so unhappy for the past 2 years or so, Mum just had to try to burst the bubble yet again. When I started going out with the ex 5 years ago, Mum was not entirely happy about the whole relationship. In her eyes, I was much too young to get involved in a relationship with a man. 5 years later, I met a man who truly makes me happy just by being there, a man whom I know deep down inside, truly loves me and is sincere towards me. A man whom I’m very comfortable with. And there she is, trying to imply that I’m making the wrong decision again.

Mum thinks that it’s much too fast for me to start seeing somebody new in a such a short period of time. What she doesn’t understand up to this day is the fact that feelings don’t come easily to me. I admit, it’s easy for me to have crushes on guys but love, it doesn’t come easily. Yet, when it does decide to knock on the door of my heart, it’s there to stay. Mum claims that I’m always weak when it comes to the matter of the heart. And when I accidentally let her know that I stayed over at YK’s place (to which I amended that I was only there for the weekend), she indirectly said that I was being cheap.

“You’ve only known him for such a short period of time and you stayed over at his place already? You’re too open-minded lah…Why are you so open minded? You don’t value yourself wan hor? If you continue not to value yourself, how do you expect him to value you or even respect you next time? You’re just devalue-ing yourself by being so open-minded. Cannot be more old-fashion a bit wan meh?”

She continued on with her relentless comments and questions and surprisingly, I managed to hold my tongue for once. I kept quiet the whole time she was ranting and refuse to make any remarks. Frankly, I held my tongue not because I think what she said is completely true or right. I held my tongue because I do not want us to argue anymore. I’m so sick and tired of arguing with her, of justifying what I do sometimes, of trying to make her understand my situation.

I used to tell Mum practically everything. Now, I barely tell her 10% of what is going on in my life anymore. It has come to the stage where I’m just tired of listening to her complain about me being the prodigal daughter. Whatever I do these days is always not good enough for her. I really miss Mum who is always so understanding. I miss Mum who is always so supportive of me. I miss the old Mum. :’(

Weird

I’ve been feeling a little weird around S lately. Although we do not see each other often (he’s studying in Singapore), we always make it a point to meet up whenever both of us are back in Penang because good friends are hard to come by. All these while, we’ve treated each other as very good friends, friends that one can rely on, friends who offer a shoulder to cry on, basically, just being there for each other when the other needs it.

S has always been known as a buaya (loosely translated as a guy who likes to sweet talk girls). Ever since the first day that my friend introduced him to me, his reputation had preceded him and I had prepared myself time and again for the honey coated words that he spout at the least expected time and place. Many a times, his sweet words only serve to humour me and as the years passes by, I am now somewhat immune to it. I’ve never given any of it a second thought. Well, until lately that is.

S was back in Penang lately for the New Year and we’ve pretty much hang out with each other practically every day that he was back. Night after night, we’ll be out til the wee hours of the morning having drinks (no alcohol involved ), joking around, updating each other about our own lives and gossiping about people we know. There was one night where I brought him along for a coffee session with some of my old friends and godsis. We were there throwing sarcasm at each other practically the whole night before Daniel (an old friend) said he’s tired and wanted to leave. All of us agreed that it was time to go home and I asked my godsis to sent me back instead of S since I wanted to have a private word with her.

When we’re right in front of my house, my godsis asked if S likes me to which I answered with a blank look. That was when she explained that it felt like he likes me a tad more than friends. I refused to tell anyone what I was thinking lately but frankly, his honey coated words did seem extra sweet these days and we’ve never hang out practically every single day whenever both of us are back in town. I’m used to him talking in double meaning sentences since he’s never used them on me but these days, erm…he seemed to use them on me A LOT.

When I was with the ex, S never talks bout him and never ask bout my life with the ex. He was happy, just like everybody, when I ended things with the ex. But he was very shocked when I started seeing YK. According to him, it was way too fast. And each time we chatted on MSN, it sounds to me like he’s jealous whenever we talked about YK. Maybe I was being oversensitive. Maybe he was just very concern about me getting myself into a new relationship so fast. Whatever it is, I can’t help but feel, weird? Take an hour earlier as an example. We were chatting on MSN as usual when S brought YK into the conversation. Gave me a lot of double meaning sentences and when I questioned him about it, he gave some other explanation for it. And his buaya-ing seems to have increase a few folds lately.

I’ve done some thinking lately and I’ve analysed things over. I seriously don’t think S likes me more than a friend because I know how he reacts towards girls that he likes and ever tried to woo (I’m always his Aunt Agony whenever he has girl problems). Maybe he’s been extra flirtatious these days with everybody and I’m not used to it yet. Also, let’s not forget the case of me getting oversensitive as usual.

Oh well, I’m sure there’s nothing to it. The whole thing just weirds me out, that’s all.

*shrugs*

What flower are you?

You Are A Lily

You are a nurturer and all around natural therapist. People see you as their rock. And they are able to depend on you. You are a soothing influence. You can make people feel better with a few words. Your caring has more of an impact than even you realize.

What Flower Are You?

Well, what do you know? I’m a lily! Hehe…for those of you who do not already know it, lilies had always been my all-time favourite flower ever since, well, ever since forever.

What do guys like about you?

Guys Like That You’re Sensitive

And not in that “cry at a drop of a hat” sort of way You just get most guys – even if you’re not trying to Guys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secrets No wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships!

What Do Guys Like About You?

Are you a good girlfriend?

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you’re very thoughtful But you also haven’t stopped thinking of yourself You’re the perfect blend of independent and caring You’re a total catch – make sure your guy knows it too!

Are You a Good Girlfriend?

What’s your ideal marriage proposal?

Your Ideal Marriage Proposal Is

After dinner at your favorite restaurant, at the spot where you first kissed.

What’s Your Ideal Marriage Proposal?

What element is your love?

Your Love Element Is Water

In love, you connect deeply and commit totally. For you, love is all about taking risks and moving into unknown territory.   You attract others with courage and confidence. Your flirting style is defined by your flexibility and ability to adapt. Nurturing and shared learning are the cornerstones of your love life. And while you may jump in to love too quickly, you always come out the wiser for it. You connect best with: Metal Avoid: Earth You And another Water element: will pull each other down into a dark place

What Element Is Your Love?